The biggest tiniest miracle happened today—we heard our baby’s heartbeat for the first time. It’s a sound we’ve been waiting to hear again for nearly two years since Ellis was stillborn.
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It worked!!! We‘re pregnant!!! We planned to announce it today and when I logged into Facebook this morning I had a “memory” (swipe to see the photo) from exactly two years ago, when we announced we were pregnant with Ellis. I had completely forgotten it was today. So we decided to re-create the announcement photo.
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I’ve had a tumultuous relationship with these sticks. I remember the elation I felt the first time I saw two pink lines wash over the test screen when I learned I was pregnant with Ellis after only a few months of trying.
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Many of you have been asking how I’ve been coping during this two week wait…I take things *day by day.* I try to focus on the present moment by not letting myself dwell too much on the past or the future.
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The mystery of the two week wait—oh how I’d love to know what’s going on in there! Has our embryo found itself I nice spot to implant? Is it continuing to grow?
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We did it—I’m pregnant until proven otherwise! Our little embryo babe is nestled in its home for hopefully the next nine months.
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Embryo Transfer #2 is scheduled for 2.22.2020 and I’m *trying* to let my hopes run wild!
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Tomorrow marks another step in our IVF journey...I’m having a minor surgery called a hysteroscopy. Our fertility doctor wants to look more closely at my uterus to see if there’s any scar tissue from my c-section that might be affecting our ability to get pregnant.
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I’ve been struggling lately to maintain my hope. It’s been two weeks since our failed IVF cycle and I’ve felt pretty empty. I know the odds—we have a 70-80% chance of success with each frozen embryo transfer—I just honestly didn’t believe that we’d get the bad odds, again.
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2019 is not ending the way we’d hoped—we learned yesterday that our first embryo transfer was unsuccessful. Though we’re disappointed on many levels, I don’t want 2019 to be defined only by grief and loss. It was also a year full of hope, rainbows, and risk taking.
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We’re transferring a frozen embryo tomorrow (Wednesday, December 18th) at 9:30am. I’m excited, nervous, grateful, and hopeful. All of our recent tests have come back looking great and our odds of success are very good.
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Today we are so excited to finally be moving into our new (112 year old) house! We’ve been renovating it for over two years—a time that has been full of more joy and more sorrow than I’ve ever experienced.
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I’ve also been holding onto some wonderful news from our IVF rainbow baby journey…after two weeks of waiting for our embryos to grow and then be tested and frozen, we learned that we have four genetically healthy embryos—two boys and two girls!! We are thrilled.
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I’ve learned that pineapples are a big symbol in the IVF community because there’s a belief that eating it before an egg retrieval increases your odds of success. I’m not too sure about that, but I do know that pineapples are prickly just like all the things I’ve been pricked with throughout this process!
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It’s National Rainbow Baby day, which celebrates babies born subsequent to miscarriage, stillbirth, or infant death.
We’re still hoping for our rainbow baby, which is why I’ve started the Rainbow Baby Podcast—to document our own journey and to also tell the stories of others.