Seeing a Perinatal Specialist
Yesterday was hard. We had our first appointment with a perinatal specialist because this pregnancy is considered high risk due to our history of stillbirth and miscarriage. Ultimately the baby is healthy, which is wonderful, but everything is a little more complex with pregnancy after loss.
The appointment was long and it was the first time I’ve been to a hospital with this pregnancy during the pandemic, which was stressful.
We went over our history in detail, including our IVF experience, and I found myself fumbling over so many details, like what hospital Ellis was born at and how much he weighed at birth. I’ve had so many tests done over the last two years and have taken more medications than I ever have in my life so I had a lot of trouble recalling everything.
The doctor speculated about what might have caused Ellis’ unexplained stillbirth. He wondered about blood clots and asked if I’d been tested for them before. I couldn’t remember, so they did more blood testing.
Don’t get me wrong, all of this is good. I’m grateful to have yet another medical professional help us on our journey to a healthy baby. I just wish we could be “normal” sometimes.
I’ll see this doctor weekly in my third trimester in addition to my regular OB, so it will be a lot of visits, though I know that will also bring me reassurance.
We talked about birth plans, which was the most overwhelming part. I’ve known from the beginning that the c-section I needed with Ellis might complicate things for future births.
A repeat c-section and VBAC (vaginal birth after cesearean) both have small but potentially catastrophic risks that could result in hysterectomy (meaning no more uterus or future pregnancies) or death of the mother and/or baby.
My head was swirling with all this information. I broke down in tears in the car with Hunter.
I knew I’d feel better today, and I do. We don’t have to make any birth decisions right away and I trust that we will be guided in the right direction by our team of doctors. I’m grateful for a healthy baby, caring and meticulous professionals, and access to quality healthcare. I’ll keep taking things day by day.