Darkness and Light

The last three nights the full moon has shone clear and bright in the sky. The first time I walked outside since leaving the hospital was in the security of darkness. I was scared to leave the house and encounter neighbors during the daytime for fear of them noticing my missing belly, so Hunter and I took a late night walk with our dog Zelda in the warm breeze. The sky was open and the moon lit up the streets. I couldn’t stop looking up. I thought of Ellis, how his name means “Light of God.”

I see this light in the love and care we’ve received from our family, friends, hospital staff, and even strangers who’ve reached out to us after hearing our story. I see God in the connections we make with other people in our daily lives, the small gestures of love and kindness. I also see God in the natural world—the beauty of wildflowers, dirt, mushrooms, fireflies, rivers, mountains, and moss. When the sun rises, when a candlelight quivers, when the moon shines bright, I’ll think of Ellis.