Episode 21: Pregnancy Weeks 12-16, Deciding on a Birth Plan

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The past two weeks I’ve been away from social media and have instead spent lots of time reading, talking with people in person, praying, and mourning. I’ll never be able to fully understand the atrocities and injustices that Black people experience, but I do know grief. I know the gut wrenching pain of a child dying. My instinct has been to go into a space of contemplation. We all need time to mourn and to process and internalize what has happened—to be sad, to be angry, to listen, to question, to be still, and to take action.

Someone recently asked me how I feel about bringing a baby into the world right now with so much unrest. My response was that I’m hopeful. Countless generations before us have created new life in the midst of deeply trying times because they hoped for a better future. This is an opportunity to educate myself more on issues of social justice and racial inequality and to teach our son about these issues. And I’m hopeful because I see and hear so many others around me doing the same thing. 

I recorded a new podcast episode recently to give an update on weeks 12-16 of my current pregnancy. I’m currently 18 weeks pregnant so it’s a little behind schedule. I talk about my decision whether or not to use an at-home doppler, learning how to be a better advocate for myself at prenatal visits during pregnancy after loss, and consulting with several doctors about VBAC vs repeat cesarean and what we ended up deciding. I also share what Ellis’ second stillbirthday was like and how we’ve started to connect more with our rainbow baby—I’m feeling him kick everyday now.

In the episode I talk about: 

  • Ordering a doppler and returning it

  • Learning to advocate better for myself at ultrasound appointments

  • Consulting with three doctors about VBAC vs repeat cesarean

  • Choosing whether or not to give birth in the same hospital where we experienced loss

  • Our birth plan decision

  • Revisiting the same hospital where Ellis was stillborn

  • Ellis’ second stillbirthday and how it compared to his first

  • Feeling our rainbow baby kick throughout the day

  • Starting to plan and imagine our rainbow baby’s arrival

Please share this podcast with anyone you know who is walking through life after pregnancy loss, whether they are trying to conceive, currently pregnant, or parenting after loss.

TaylorComment